Bodies in Motion

Wow! The children have so much energy lately! On Wednesday (the only day so far this week that I have had nappers), they all fell asleep right away, too. Little wonder after all the running, jumping, pushing, pulling that was taking place throughout the morning.

There has been an incredible upswing in cooperative work.

Our newly offered, indoor, fine-motor work is getting a workout, too.

The children came back from the Winter Break so completely transformed... Great strides were made in potty learning, language development, fine and gross motor skills. Young children are such wonderful teachers; I love their constant reminders that human development is not linear--that some areas must contract in order for others to expand, and that disintegration is necessary in order for the being to re-integrate on a different plane of development.

For example, a child mastering language may seem to regress in the area of sleep habits, or toilet independence, or "minding" (actually, the child is always minding, but grownups tend to feel challenged when the child minds his or her own mind, instead of the adult's). The child's flow in and out of relative equanimity is often referred to as equilibrium/disequilibrium.

When the child exhibits behavior that makes us long "for my baby," or wonder, "where did my happy kid go?", then they are said to be in disequilibrium. Disequilibrium is marked by the child's strong expression of emotion, rigidity of preference, and preoccupation with struggle. We may wish to avoid periods of disequilibrium, but in reality they are necessary for human development--both in our children and in ourselves.

Here are some interesting articles about equilibrium/disequilibrium:

http://www.centerforparentingeducation.org/programs_articlesresource_ucstages.html

http://theparentingpassageway.com/2010/02/27/the-typical-ages-of-disequilibrium/

The terms were originated by Jean Piaget, the father of the modern kindergarten. Read some background here:

http://www.nndb.com/people/359/000094077/

Tips for coping with disequilibrium:

--Uphold routines--even though your child may protest bed time as never before during a period of disequilibrium, s/he needs the routine to be firm to feel secure. Not to mention, you both need all the rest you can get right now.

--Reduce the range of available options. If you have been giving 3-4 choices, reduce it down to 2 in any given situation. Make sure that both are choices that you can live with. Be clear with your child when there is no choice but yours (when safety is at issue, for example) in a given situation, and be prepared to follow through with loving action.

--Limit stimulus. Now is a good time to have fewer playdates, limit changes to routine, even let kiddo stay home with your partner or a sitter while you do necessary errands and shopping.

--Expand your toolbox. We have many wonderful resources locally for broadening your mind and technique when it comes to parenting. Even just learning, and making habitual, a few new phrases can change your child's outlook--and your own! Look up the class offerings at:

http://www.carriecontey.com/

http://www.bethanyprescott.com/

http://www.languageoflistening.com/classes/classes

Finally, take heart! Childrens' developmental phases pass in about the time it takes for parents to master coping with them. Your kiddo will be on to something new before you know it.